Plan B is the new Plan A
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
