Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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