Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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