ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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