that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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