i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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