He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
