Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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