did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
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I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
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There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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