i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All I want is dick and wine.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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