butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
