I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize