She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
