I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize