I need help removing her.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
