The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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