so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
