Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
