how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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