I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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