Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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