thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
