Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dignity is for republicans.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
