the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Fuck appropriateness.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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