If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My dick has a subreddit
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
