Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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