I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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