I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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