you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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