Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
