Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
