i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
