were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
