I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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