If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
