school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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