please come you make the beer taste better
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
