Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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