It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
