I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
