I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
