I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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