Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You pole danced in your parka.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
