We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
