We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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