yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
