She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
