you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
