in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
