They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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