i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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