Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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