the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
