i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
