how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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