im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
