I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
