I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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