Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
