everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
