I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
