Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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