So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
