I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
