I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
