Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
