Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
