there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
