i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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