3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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