can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
